I really enjoyed reading this article so I bought the book “Strange Situation” by Bethany Saltman who embarked on a ten-year journey to explore the science of attachment.
“When my daughter Azalea was seven years old, she and my husband Thayer were riding the chairlift up a mountain at our local ski area. Lost in a daydream, Azalea missed the spot where she and Thayer had planned to get off, leaving her on the lift without her dad, who had skied off the chair, only to discover with a start that Azalea was not right behind him. Realizing that she was alone and her beloved father was gone, rather than wait until she got back to the bottom of the mountain, the next safe place to get off, Azalea jumped! Falling ten feet through the air, luckily she landed safely on her skis. That’s the kind of commitment attachment inspires. That’s the kind of danger love incites.”
Good read “Why are some babies and toddlers more difficult than others? How do we define “difficult,” as well as “difficult” for whom, and why? I have worked with hundreds of parents, and I can tell you that some kids are born more intense. I use the word “intense,” because the word “difficult” is pejorative and not very descriptive. So, why are some kids more intense than others?
To begin, we need to understand the idea of temperament. Temperament is a rating scale that assesses a child’s early-appearing variation in emotional responses and reaction to the environment. Is your baby quick to be active? Is your child regular in routine? Quick to warm up to new people and places?
Temperament has long been considered to be a purely genetic and static concept, meaning your child is born and will stay this way. But longitudinal twin, adoption and sibling studies are showing that temperament is more malleable than previously believed. We could dive deep into these studies, but long story short: A baby is born who they are. They are capable of change throughout their development, and they are deeply affected by parenting styles.”
Perspective | Why one child can be more ‘difficult’ than another
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Two little ones, raised in similar ways, and one is more emotional than the other. What’s going on?Reading it i thought they had meant babies are born who they are . As a mum of nine children some chi were from birth or even before busy ,active alert easily upset while others calmer more placid more laid back . These temperaments are still there now as they range in age from 6 to 28 . Those who were placid easy to settle are still more laid back even as toddlers tantrums were rare . As adults they are still calm and thoughtful rarely angered but are confident and assertive and will quietly express annoyance ,While some others of my children arrived in the world easily roused and fiery and were the toddlers who could throw epic tantrums . Those children are stil determined ,fiery and strong willed. They do however manage their emotions and dont lash out but use that fiery nature constructively Personally I think parenting ste can mould our children we can help a quite child to be quietly confident or an easily a geared child to manage those feelings and think before they act . I'm not sure though we can change quiet introverts into noisy extroverts or vice versa . From personal experience we can support and help children to use and develop their innate temperaments and personalities to be the best of who they are but we cannot change who they are and I personally wouldnt want to . They are who they are and I see the benefits and gifts that each of their very distinct and different temperaments bring.
Did you mean to write ‘a baby is not born who they are?’
Interesting read with reference to Circle of Security. “In the context of parent-child relationships, deep listening is a central component of “mindful parenting”,4 because of its role in identifying and responding sensitively to children’s needs.5,6 Decades of evidence shows that attuned, sensitive, and emotionally available caregiving promotes children’s healthy development, secure attachment, and mental health.7 The founders of the Circle of Security program convey the feeling of listening deeply to one’s child in a simple phrase: “I am here, and you are worth it.” This is a powerful reminder to parents that our presence and attention can be instrumental in cultivating a child’s of self-worth and mental health.8 We have only to recall the last time that we felt truly listened to in order to conjure that same sense of worthiness—Wow, my voice matters; I am someone worth listening to.”
Short read. “Attachment parenting views the initial bonding between mothers/fathers and baby immediately after birth — and up to the first 6 weeks — as a critical step in forming a healthy long-term parent-child attachment. In attachment parenting, a baby’s cries are viewed as their way of communicating a need — not as a form of manipulation. Attachment parents are quick to sensitively respond to their baby’s every cry to foster growing infant-caregiver trust and learn their baby’s communication style.”
What Is Attachment Parenting? Theory, Examples, Pros and Cons
www.healthline.com
Attachment parenting is a philosophy that emphasizes physical and emotional closeness with your child. We'll break down the principles and tell you the pros and cons.As part of our Attachment Parenting week
“Good read 3 mins “In a world where everyone else seems to know what’s best for your child or every book seems to be telling you what to do and how to do it, it’s little wonder that parents often find themselves questioning their approach to childcare.
As a nanny who has worked with many families and in many school and nursery settings, the first thing I would always say, is to listen to your instincts as a parent and know that no book, person or, even article like this, can give you a definitive answer on what is right for your individual child.”
What is attachment parenting and how can you implement it?
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Could attachment parenting be right for your family?Short Read “When it comes to parenting your children, there is no such thing as a "one size fits all" mentality. Moms parent in different ways and have varying approaches to child rearing. What works for one family may not work for the other, and all methods of parenting come loaded with their own unique list of pros and cons. Attachment parenting is focused on meeting the needs of the child in order to create a warm, loving, and trusting bond between parents and kids. Healthline defines this type of parenting style as being; "based on the concept that a parent’s connection and responsiveness to their baby’s needs have an everlasting effect on their baby’s future emotional health and relationships." Attachment parenting begins at birth and continues throughout a child's life, always putting the physical, mental, and emotional needs of the child at the top of the priority list.”
What Are The Benefits & Cons Of Attachment Parenting?
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Of course, there are both benefits and drawbacks to attachment parenting, and each family will experience this style in their own, personal way.
